As my wife Brandi and I sat on the roller coaster, waiting for the ride to begin, I had the same thoughts a lot of parents have when they get on a carnival ride. Is this a good idea? Is this dangerous? What if something goes wrong? What will happen to our kids if we die on this roller coaster? Thankfully, my reasonable self took over within a few seconds.Then it occurred to me that this roller coaster is the perfect metaphor for marriage. Other than a total anomaly—like a meteor striking the coaster or a crack in the earth opening in the middle of the amusement park—there’s only two predictable ways one of us could get permanently wounded: 1. Reaching outside the boundaries of our dedicated space or 2. Jumping off the ride all together. Truthfully, if we just stay committed to the boundaries that are clearly established, there’s almost no chance of getting hurt. According to the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions, your chances of being injured on a roller coaster are roughly 1 in 24,000,000; chances of being killed are 1 in 750,000,000.¹
I think the imagery speaks for itself, but I’ll go for it anyway.
1. There’s nothing good for you outside the established boundaries of your marriage. You took vows; the boundaries of faithfulness have been clearly established. There’s nothing but injury and pain waiting for you outside the boundaries of physical and emotional faithfulness to your spouse.
2. The surest way to do life-long damage is jump out. If you jump out of a moving roller coaster, I promise that the scares will last the rest of your life (which, may not be all that long if you jump out of a moving carnival ride). I suppose there’s always the possibility that jumping out is the best alternative—like if the coaster spontaneously burst into flames—but that’s going to be an extremely rare circumstance. You know who’s most likely to jump off off a roller coaster? A crazy person.
The good news about both of these pitfalls is that avoiding them doesn’t require action; it requires inaction. Commitment to stay, not go. Commitment to be undeterred. There are many investments that need to be made in order to have a flourishing marriage, and it’s a lifelong process. Avoiding these two easily avoidable catastrophes will ensure that you have the chance to make those investments.
¹ https://abcnews.go.com/US/flags-roller-coaster-accident-witness-victim-questioned-secured/story?id=19731762
