The Ball Is Coming To You

Allow me a word specifically for men.  It could be for most anyone, but specifically I'm thinking of the men I know:

“The ball is coming to you.  The ball is coming…to you.  The ball…is coming…to you.”  

I can still hear my middle school baseball coach—Coach Todd, an unathletic high school kid who loved baseball and turned out to be a great coach—shouting it out as we took infield practice.  “Alright men, look alive, the ball is coming to you.”  Of course, I never knew if that particular ball was coming to me, but inevitably, the ball was coming to me.


“Be ready on every pitch.”

I stood in position at 3rd as the biggest kid in our league, Rob Sherridan, stepped into the batter’s box.  I could hear coach yelling, “be ready,”  and this time he was right.  The strongest 7th grader in the world hit a rope right at me; probably the fastest moving ball I’d seen in my life to that point.  You know what happens when a baseball is coming at you that fast?  Fear.  I ducked my head and stuck out my glove to the area my head had just vacated….nothing.  When I looked up, I saw the left fielder scooping up the ball I had just dodged.  Turns out, when you play 3rd base you’re job isn’t to dodge out of the way of line drives; you’re actually supposed to catch the ball.

I knew that I had failed at my job.  My team was counting on me to make that play, and I let the ball go by.  I hated that feeling.  Next time, I was determined to stand in front of the ball and take whatever came like a man.


“Be alert.  Look alive.”

Coach was yelling again, and eventually, he was right again.  A ground ball down the 3rd baseline.  I learned from last time, this one’s not getting by me.  I broke to my right, and snagged it on the 2nd bounce behind the bag.  The hard part is done, now I just have to throw the runner out at 1st.  It’s amazing how fast your internal wheels can begin to spin.  In that moment I thought to myself, “It’s a really long throw to 1st base from all the way behind 3rd.  I better be careful with this throw so it doesn’t end up going over the 1st baseman’s head.”  It didn’t.  As I lobbed a carefully accurate toss across the diamond, the runner crossed the bag a full second before the ball arrived.

The missing ingredient was preparation; knowing what you’re going to do with the ball if it is hit to you.  One thing I knew for sure, being passive wasn’t getting the desired result.  I had sorted out the reality that I couldn’t succeed without taking a risk.  Risk of making a mistake, risk of looking bad, risk of letting my team down.  Somewhere along the way I also realized that “great plays” are never “easy plays.”  Next time, I’d be alert; ready to finish the play.


“Assume that the ball is going to be hit to you.”

“Okay, runner on first, 1 out.  If the ball comes to me, I’m taking it to 2nd for the double play.  No matter what.”  Sure enough, a grounder in the hole between 3rd and short; the mental conversation starts again.  I was resolved “I’m going to have to dive…I’m going for it.”  It’s such and incredible sensation the way a baseball feels when it hits squarely in the webbing of a glove; I made the grab.  As I jumped to my feet and reached into my glove for the ball I had another thought: “This is a really tough play, I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it.”  What a crazy thought; the catch was significantly more difficult than the throw.  Thankfully, I shouted myself down, "THROW THE BALL!!!" I screamed internally…got him at 2nd.


In the game of life, the ball is coming to you.  Might be this pitch, might be the next.  But eventually, the ball is coming to you.  Days will go by.  Time will pass, kids will grow, careers will come and go, marriage will exist, youth will fade, money will be spent and if I’m passive about it all, there won’t have much to show for any of it.  Great lives are rarely easy lives.  

1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. NASB

Be ready, the ball is coming to you.  Know what you’re going to do with it when it does.  Do you have a plan for your family, finances, health?  Is that plan built on a lasting foundation of faith?  Rest assured, the ball is coming to you.  You even have the option of ducking out of the way and letting circumstance run it’s course, but our leader is shouting from the dugout, "Be ready!"

Somewhere In the course of things it occurred to me that my coach wouldn’t have put me at 3rd base if he didn’t believe I could make the play, and he was willing to put in the work of building my skills.  Coach believed that I had what it took to make the play, and his belief inspired my confidence.  I’d suggest the same is true in our lives; God has provided everything we need for us to live the life that He has placed us in.  He’s promised to be your provider, He’s promised to never leave you, and He’s promised to give you a Helper in the form of His ongoing presence.  He’s even promised that when you are weak, He is strong. You have what it takes, make the play.  

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Impromptu Leadership

The book of Joshua begins with God telling Joshua,“Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them…" (Joshua 1:2) Moses, the greatest leader in their national history is gone, now you’re going to lead the entire nation into battle…now.

Life comes at you fast doesn’t it?  We spend a lot of our lives trying to stay in our comfort zones and avoid uncontrollable circumstances, but once in a while it sneaks up on you.  The journey that Joshua was about to embark on was anything but safe; it was probably something closer to terrifying.  But God had more to say than just “go.”  His instructions to Joshua continue, “Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:6-9)

As you consider the challenges that lie ahead of you.  Leading your family, facing your fear, running a business, battling illness, fighting for your marriage, etc…What do you imagine God would say to you right now?  I’d imagine something like, Be strong and courageous, I am with you, do not be afraid, do not be discouraged…

You were made for more than safety.  You were made for purpose.  Ephesians 2:10 says that God created us for good plans that He laid down long before we were ever born.  Be strong and courageous.  Fight for your purpose.  Whatever God has given you responsibility for, take charge, today.  Because some things are more important than simply staying safe and waiting for status quo to play out in front of us while we watch from the sidelines.

Marriage: The Ultimate Roller Coaster

As my wife Brandi and I sat on the roller coaster, waiting for the ride to begin, I had the same thoughts a lot of parents have when they get on a carnival ride.  Is this a good idea? Is this dangerous? What if something goes wrong? What will happen to our kids if we die on this roller coaster?  Thankfully, my reasonable self took over within a few seconds.

Then it occurred to me that this roller coaster is the perfect metaphor for marriage. Other than a total anomaly—like a meteor striking the coaster or a crack in the earth opening in the middle of the amusement park—there’s only two predictable ways one of us could get permanently wounded: 1. Reaching outside the boundaries of our dedicated space or 2. Jumping off the ride all together.  Truthfully, if we just stay committed to the boundaries that are clearly established, there’s almost no chance of getting hurt.  According to the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions, your chances of being injured on a roller coaster are roughly 1 in 24,000,000; chances of being killed are 1 in 750,000,000.¹

I think the imagery speaks for itself, but I’ll go for it anyway. 
1. There’s nothing good for you outside the established boundaries of your marriage.  You took vows; the boundaries of faithfulness have been clearly established.  There’s nothing but injury and pain waiting for you outside the boundaries of physical and emotional faithfulness to your spouse.
2. The surest way to do life-long damage is jump out.  If you jump out of a moving roller coaster, I promise that the scares will last the rest of your life (which, may not be all that long if you jump out of a moving carnival ride).  I suppose there’s always the possibility that jumping out is the best alternative—like if the coaster spontaneously burst into flames—but that’s going to be an extremely rare circumstance.  You know who’s most likely to jump off off a roller coaster?  A crazy person. 

The good news about both of these pitfalls is that avoiding them doesn’t require action; it requires inaction.  Commitment to stay, not go.  Commitment to be undeterred.  There are many investments that need to be made in order to have a flourishing marriage, and it’s a lifelong process.  Avoiding these two easily avoidable catastrophes will ensure that you have the chance to make those investments.



¹ https://abcnews.go.com/US/flags-roller-coaster-accident-witness-victim-questioned-secured/story?id=19731762

Own Your Attitude

Romans 15:5 says May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had…

Being placed in an uncomfortable or stressful situation always seems to bring out either the best or the worst in us.  Maybe you’re feeling the weight of responsibility for employees or for supporting your family.  Maybe you’re feeling the pressure to work from home and homeschool the kids.  Maybe you're a highly social person like me and the isolation is driving you out of your mind.  Whatever the dynamics of your situation, at least you know that we’re all going through our own version of the same struggle.

While coronavirus is probably not your fault, and job loss is not your fault, and the lack of toilet paper is not your fault (if it is you should probably keep that information on the DL), there’s a lot of dynamics that are not your fault and are beyond your ability to control.  But here’s what you can control: your attitude.

Whether you accept it or not, you own your attitude.  Your attitude toward the situation, toward the people at the store, toward the media, toward politicians, toward the other people locked down in your house…your attitude is  your responsibility.  Consider what John Maxwell said about our attitudes: “The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.”

Here’s my encouragement: Own your attitude.  Don’t criticize, empathize.  Think like a victor, not a victim.  Be patient, not pushy; grateful not grumpy.  Have the same attitude toward others, that Jesus had.

Raising Independent Kids

Here’s a question for parents: When your kids are no longer dependent on you, what will they be dependent on?

I've been thinking quite a bit about legacy, which I discussed in my post Legacy Starts Now.  My parenting conviction, as my kids inch closer to adulthood, is that I'm slowly but surely transitioning my kids from being dependent on me, to being dependent on God.  This transition is perhaps the most critical task I'll  endeavor in this life.

This is my most important undertaking.  This is my great adventure; my Everest.  This is an incredible privilege, to take what God has given me and turn it back toward Him.  This is my act of love for my children.  This my truest form of worship to God.

If we as parents, have successfully transitioned our kids from dependence on us to dependence on God, then we can leave this life behind when the time comes without fear for them.  When the time comes, hopefully a long time from now, they'll be able to let mom and dad go without fear of their own. 
  
Some transitions take longer than others and some take a lifetime; every child is different.  But no matter how old they are or how their transition to knowing Jesus intimately is going, a parent's mission is to fight for them.  I can assure you it won't be easy, but what could possibly be more important? 

God willing, they’ll fly the nest with the confidence of knowing that God’s goodness and love will be right there with them on the way out and no matter what happens in this life, when it’s over, they’ll live in His house forever.

Psalm 23:6  Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

What Are We Doing?

“What are we doing?”  It’s a critical question that every leader and every organization needs to be able to answer.  Without a clear answer a leader isn’t leading and an organization or company is simply wandering aimlessly.  Without a defined target, you’re basically left hoping for a happy accident; not exactly a sure thing.

At Center Church we have a succinct answer: Helping People Know Jesus.  If anyone comes into contact with Center Church and wonders what we’re about, that’s it.

There’s also a succinct reason: Knowing Jesus is the gateway to every good thing that God wants to do in your life.  Jesus said, “No one comes to the Father, except through Me.” (John 14:6)  If that’s a true statement, then there simply is no other way to enter God’s Plan-A for your life than through a relationship with Jesus. 

Our passion is to help as many people as possible enter into God’s Plan-A for their lives through a relationship with Jesus.  This is why things like, telling people what God has done in your life, inviting friends and family to church, living as godly example and walking with God daily matter; because if you’ve come into a relationship with Jesus, you have a God-given purpose to help people know Jesus too.

Leadership Lesson From Abraham

What principle could I, an average husband, dad and all-all-around normal guy, possibly apply from the life of Abraham; one of the most influential people in the history of humanity?  I mean truthfully, I’m just trying to love my wife and kids to the best of my ability and use my God-given gifts and abilities to good work with my life.  So how can I really be like Abraham?

I don’t consider myself an extraordinary human being, but I do consider myself a leader.  I lead in my family, I lead in my community, I lead in my church, etc…and so do you.  In very many ways, you probably have more leadership influence than you think you do, and Abraham teaches us something critical (many things really) about how to be an effective leader.

The Abrahamic Leadership Principle is simple (btw, I just made that name up but it sounds like a real thing, doesn’t it?): God has given you gifts and abilities to lead and influence other lives, but those gifts and abilities are meaningless unless you use them to benefit others.  

Being in a position of authority is empowering.  Everyone enjoys the opportunity to be one of the cool kids and have a voice and decision-making power, but there’s nothing more annoying than someone in authority who’s self-absorbed.  Case and point, just look to the national leaders of both major political parties in America right now.  All most of us want them to do is stop talking and start serving the actual needs of actual people.

If your authority position terminates on you and your benefit, you’ll be like the loud kid in high school who everyone thought was cool and now has no idea where he is and probably doesn’t care where he is.  By definition, leadership can only be “leadership” if it involves influencing others.  Abraham spent his life moving others toward God’s Plan-A for them. He could have spent it comfortably in the palace instead but if he had, we would never have heard his name and any opportunity his leadership to be significant would have been lost.

Abraham's choice to live and lead for the benefit of others instead live for his own comfort shows us the delineation between success and significance. He had success as a prince, living in the palace.  But he chose to live a life that actually mattered by prioritizing the blessing of those he led instead of using his position solely for himself.

Legacy Starts Now

I'm planning, hoping mostly, that at the end of my life I'll be able to leave a little bit of money and/or assets as a blessing to my kids.  I'm taking some steps now to ensure, God willing, that the end of my life is as little of a burden to them as possible.  (Kids, if you're reading this, I'm a vocational pastor so there won't be a trust fund; sorry.  I hope that doesn't come as a shock.)

As I get older and so do my kids, the question of legacy becomes more of a relevant issue.  I have no idea how my life will end, but one thing I know for sure is that my kids' biggest need isn't money. Right now they're not directly dependent on it at all; they have almost no need for their own financial resources. They just know that their parents will account for their needs.  When they have need of a material thing, they ask one of us.  Sometimes we say "no," but they have never been without a necessity.

Right now, I'm training them to slowly be less dependent on my wife and I.  I think that is a the fundamental role of a parent: raising our kids to be independent of us.  Someday in the not-so-distant future, they won't need me anymore and I'm good with that.

This process of raising our kids to leave home and be independent of us, begs a question for parents:  Other than money, what kind of legacy do you want to leave for your children?

I'm not anticipating my parents leaving me any money (though I'll take it if they do), but they have already cemented their legacy in my mind.  They taught me how to be faithful to God and ferociously devoted to my wife and kids.  They showed me how to turn the most awful situation (like, losing a child) into a redemptive part of their story.  What do you want your legacy to be?

Psalm 90:12 says, Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. NLT   Life is short.  Just ask anyone who's currently in their 70's or 80's and they'll confirm that truth.  What things will spring to life for future generations from the seed you're currently planting?  Perhaps your true greatness will only be seen when future generations sit in the shade of trees you planted knowing that you'd never personally enjoy the shade for yourself?  

Life is, in fact, short.  Don't wait until you can see the finish line to begin building your legacy as a firm foundation for future generations.

The 1st Day of School

Today was the 1st day of school in our house.  We have a 1st time high schooler, a middle schooler and an elementary student; just saying it is chaotic.  I took 2 hours out of my day doing drop-offs and pick-ups.  Not exactly something that a work-lover reflects on with satisfaction. 

At the end of the day, my high-schooler was a bit overwhelmed by the chaos of his first day in such a large school.  The middle child was elated beyond measure to be reunited with her friends and the youngest was exhausted because the day was “soooo long.”  All of those things; chaos, elation and exhaustion are magnified by the moment.  They’re a bigger deal than they should be, simply because it’s the 1st day.  All of them will be business as usual by next week.

In life, when we face a crisis, a disappointment, an opportunity, unfamiliar territory or some other significant moment, it’s important to recognize the context.  Sometimes, things seem overwhelming in the moment but if we give ourselves even a few hours of perspective, they return to their actual size.

Psalm 33:20 says We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.  Perhaps we were designed to be less anxious and more faith-full.  God’s track record is good so let the moment breathe a little.  It’s okay to let Him handle it; it’s not irresponsibility or naivety, it’s faith and good judgement.

Drawing the Potential Out Of Those You Lead (Including Your Children)

Drawing the Potential Out Of Those You Lead (Including Your Children)

What do you celebrate?  What are the behaviors that make you tell your kids “good job”?  What are the qualities you admire in others?  If you’re leader, what attitudes to do you promote in your leadership?  More importantly, in your circle of influence, what are the behaviors and attitudes you’d like to see more of?

Some of my most valuable parenting and leadership lessons were garnered in my 20’s as a Youth Pastor.  I know, the Youth Pastor is generally regarded as the “Student Teacher” of the staff at most churches, but hear me out.  Here’s two leadership lessons I learned during that time that can be applied to any leadership situation (including parenting):

People will generally rise to the level of your expectations.
If the people you lead trust you, they will generally do their best to meet your expectations.  As a Youth Pastor I would occasionally take large groups of students on road trips; camps, conferences, retreats, etc…  I had 2 stated expectations of their behavior:
    1. “I’m counting on you to be respectful of God, me and your fellow students.”
    2. “I’m counting on you to take responsibility for yourself and make wise decisions.”

In 8 years of youth ministry, I can’t recall a time when a student blew me off and did their own thing instead.  I appealed to our relationship by “counting on them,” but more importantly, every student felt the weight of having someone they respected relying on their discretion.  When given the chance to lead themselves, they inevitably wanted to do it well.

2.   People will become what their environment celebrates.
When problems arise, I’m looking to be on the solution side of the issue because dwelling on the mistake or assessing blame doesn’t lead us forward.  As a leader it’s not my primary job to call people out for their mistakes, but to call them upward toward something better.  I may have an obligation to correct certain behaviors or attitudes, but if the full extent of my leadership is pointing out what’s wrong and executing disciplinary action, then I haven’t offered a better alternative.

One of my favorite things to celebrate as a Youth Pastor was “Grit.”  Some students were achievers and we celebrated achievement; but I was always looking for the kid scratched and clawed for a B- in math, not just the kid who cruised their way to straight A’s.  One after another, students with low self-assuredness began to rise above their previously accepted norm.  We celebrated grit, because I knew that grit would serve them well for a lifetime and I wanted to cultivate more of it.

This is when I decided, I want to be known for what I’m for, not what I’m against.  Celebrate your desired behaviors and attitudes in the people you lead when you see them, and you’ll begin to see more of them.

"Plan A" For Discipling Children

God has a “Plan A” for discipling your children...

In all my years of pastoral ministry, I’ve never heard anyone begin telling their life’s story by recalling a youth retreat or a Sunday School class.  Invariably, it always begins with the type of home they grew up in; their parent(s), the defining moments in the history of their family, and the way their family made them feel about themselves.  For better or worse, our families are the most influential people in our lives.

As a Christian parent, I recognize that I am God’s “Plan A” for discipling my children; and if you're a parent, you're "Plan A" for yours.  There is no church program or ministry that will ever have the impact on my children that I am able and accountable to have.  I’m deeply grateful for the Kid’s Church leaders who plant seeds of God’s goodness in my kids, but I realize that teaching them to know and love Jesus is my responsibility.  There’s no better place for kids to be cared for, nurtured and developed then in their own home, under the guidance of their own parents.

God gives this instruction to parents, particularly fathers, in Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. NLT  It is a father’s responsibility, honor and joy to point his children toward the goodness, guidance and faithfulness of God through our words and deeds.

My hope is that no parent will send their kids off to Kid’s Church or Youth Group and assume that they are building a relationship with Jesus.  Young people will have some good experiences and gain some knowledge in these types of programs, but in the end our kids will likely make spiritual decisions based on the example of their parents. 

As a church leader my aim is to encourage and support parents in leading their kids toward spiritual wholeness and deep confidence in the faithfulness, goodness and grace of God.  I believe that by helping parents know Jesus intimately, the entire family can be strengthened for generations to come. 

Parents, now is the time to dig in.  Wherever your kids are, however old they may be; now is the time to pray like never before, to show them that God is an enduring rock of faithfulness, to teach them His promises through the Bible, to help them engage in Christian community through the church and to remind them that nothing on earth or beyond could ever separate them from the love of God which revealed in Christ.

Parent’s, you can do this.  Go fearlessly into the future because God is for you.