Leadership Lesson From Abraham

What principle could I, an average husband, dad and all-all-around normal guy, possibly apply from the life of Abraham; one of the most influential people in the history of humanity?  I mean truthfully, I’m just trying to love my wife and kids to the best of my ability and use my God-given gifts and abilities to good work with my life.  So how can I really be like Abraham?

I don’t consider myself an extraordinary human being, but I do consider myself a leader.  I lead in my family, I lead in my community, I lead in my church, etc…and so do you.  In very many ways, you probably have more leadership influence than you think you do, and Abraham teaches us something critical (many things really) about how to be an effective leader.

The Abrahamic Leadership Principle is simple (btw, I just made that name up but it sounds like a real thing, doesn’t it?): God has given you gifts and abilities to lead and influence other lives, but those gifts and abilities are meaningless unless you use them to benefit others.  

Being in a position of authority is empowering.  Everyone enjoys the opportunity to be one of the cool kids and have a voice and decision-making power, but there’s nothing more annoying than someone in authority who’s self-absorbed.  Case and point, just look to the national leaders of both major political parties in America right now.  All most of us want them to do is stop talking and start serving the actual needs of actual people.

If your authority position terminates on you and your benefit, you’ll be like the loud kid in high school who everyone thought was cool and now has no idea where he is and probably doesn’t care where he is.  By definition, leadership can only be “leadership” if it involves influencing others.  Abraham spent his life moving others toward God’s Plan-A for them. He could have spent it comfortably in the palace instead but if he had, we would never have heard his name and any opportunity his leadership to be significant would have been lost.

Abraham's choice to live and lead for the benefit of others instead live for his own comfort shows us the delineation between success and significance. He had success as a prince, living in the palace.  But he chose to live a life that actually mattered by prioritizing the blessing of those he led instead of using his position solely for himself.

Legacy Starts Now

I'm planning, hoping mostly, that at the end of my life I'll be able to leave a little bit of money and/or assets as a blessing to my kids.  I'm taking some steps now to ensure, God willing, that the end of my life is as little of a burden to them as possible.  (Kids, if you're reading this, I'm a vocational pastor so there won't be a trust fund; sorry.  I hope that doesn't come as a shock.)

As I get older and so do my kids, the question of legacy becomes more of a relevant issue.  I have no idea how my life will end, but one thing I know for sure is that my kids' biggest need isn't money. Right now they're not directly dependent on it at all; they have almost no need for their own financial resources. They just know that their parents will account for their needs.  When they have need of a material thing, they ask one of us.  Sometimes we say "no," but they have never been without a necessity.

Right now, I'm training them to slowly be less dependent on my wife and I.  I think that is a the fundamental role of a parent: raising our kids to be independent of us.  Someday in the not-so-distant future, they won't need me anymore and I'm good with that.

This process of raising our kids to leave home and be independent of us, begs a question for parents:  Other than money, what kind of legacy do you want to leave for your children?

I'm not anticipating my parents leaving me any money (though I'll take it if they do), but they have already cemented their legacy in my mind.  They taught me how to be faithful to God and ferociously devoted to my wife and kids.  They showed me how to turn the most awful situation (like, losing a child) into a redemptive part of their story.  What do you want your legacy to be?

Psalm 90:12 says, Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. NLT   Life is short.  Just ask anyone who's currently in their 70's or 80's and they'll confirm that truth.  What things will spring to life for future generations from the seed you're currently planting?  Perhaps your true greatness will only be seen when future generations sit in the shade of trees you planted knowing that you'd never personally enjoy the shade for yourself?  

Life is, in fact, short.  Don't wait until you can see the finish line to begin building your legacy as a firm foundation for future generations.

The 1st Day of School

Today was the 1st day of school in our house.  We have a 1st time high schooler, a middle schooler and an elementary student; just saying it is chaotic.  I took 2 hours out of my day doing drop-offs and pick-ups.  Not exactly something that a work-lover reflects on with satisfaction. 

At the end of the day, my high-schooler was a bit overwhelmed by the chaos of his first day in such a large school.  The middle child was elated beyond measure to be reunited with her friends and the youngest was exhausted because the day was “soooo long.”  All of those things; chaos, elation and exhaustion are magnified by the moment.  They’re a bigger deal than they should be, simply because it’s the 1st day.  All of them will be business as usual by next week.

In life, when we face a crisis, a disappointment, an opportunity, unfamiliar territory or some other significant moment, it’s important to recognize the context.  Sometimes, things seem overwhelming in the moment but if we give ourselves even a few hours of perspective, they return to their actual size.

Psalm 33:20 says We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.  Perhaps we were designed to be less anxious and more faith-full.  God’s track record is good so let the moment breathe a little.  It’s okay to let Him handle it; it’s not irresponsibility or naivety, it’s faith and good judgement.

The Year of Imperfection

Another year is about to begin and hope rises anew.  A new start is almost always a welcomed occasion for most of us.  Everyone’s chance to get it right; lose a few pounds, quit smoking, live by the budget, stop sounding like your mother…just to name a few.  All worthy goals and all achievable with the right set of circumstances, help and planning.

There’s one other thing you’ll need for a successful fresh-start: Grace.  Truth is, you actually need grace all the time, not just for a new year. 

Here’s my best prognostication for 2019:  You’ll have some wins and some loses, some success and some failure, some highs and some lows…me too.  I also predict that God will still be in control through all of them, His sovereignty will remain in tact, His mercy will still be yours for the receiving and He’ll graciously provide a way for you to get back on track when make a misstep.

This is life.  Imperfection is part of the gig.  We’re all flawed and hypocritical…isn’t is amazing that God loves us anyway?!  

• My observation is: I don’t deserve God’s favor on the basis of my actions.

• Reality is: I’m more loved than I ever thought possible; totally forgiven and blessed by God because of His amazing grace.

Our imperfections reveal God’s grace.  Our flaws demonstrate just how loving God is.  To think that He really knows you for who you truly are in the privacy of your own thoughts, and yet, He wants you anyway. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

If there's something better than being the object of God's grace, I can't imagine what that something would be.  It's going to be a good year.

Christmas Anticipation

It’s 6:07am, Christmas morning.  Last night we went to Christmas Eve service at church, then over to the grandparent’s house for a family gathering.  In the next hour the kids will be awake, presents will be opened and the post-holiday aftermath will begin; we call it the “Christmas hangover.”

I’ve come to realize that the best part of Christmas as a cultural holiday is the anticipation.  I look forward to signing along with the band on Christmas Eve and taking a few days out of our routine to spend with my wife and kids, among other things.  It’s the anticipation of this time that makes it truly meaningful and exciting to me.

As I anticipate Christmas each year, the thought has occurred to me that God’s people were anticipating the first Christmas for a much, much longer period of time; and with tremendous consequences hanging in the balance.  And yet when it came, very few people celebrated it. 

Today, and everyday I have the opportunity to be filled with anticipation.  Psalm 23:6 says Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.  How incredible is the opportunity to live this day and everyday under the covering of God’s goodness and mercy?!  When I look back I can see the amazing adventures God’s goodness has taken me on, and the many ways He has cared for me over a lifetime.  I marvel when I think that when that baby boy was born one anonymous night in Bethlehem, He came into the world with all the vulnerability of an infant.  He took His first breath of open air as a baby, and His purpose in life was to die for me; to be my Savior. 

The incredible nature of the Christmas story; the wonder the shepherds must have experienced, the beauty of two new parents experiencing the birth of a child, the simultaneous simplicity and complexity… it all fills my soul with anticipation for the days to come.  Where will God’s goodness and mercy take us this year?  What incredible things will He do?!

One thing I do know, is that when it’s all over, I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.  What a day that will be!  Speaking of anticipation…that'll be one breathtaking morning.

Drawing the Potential Out Of Those You Lead (Including Your Children)

Drawing the Potential Out Of Those You Lead (Including Your Children)

What do you celebrate?  What are the behaviors that make you tell your kids “good job”?  What are the qualities you admire in others?  If you’re leader, what attitudes to do you promote in your leadership?  More importantly, in your circle of influence, what are the behaviors and attitudes you’d like to see more of?

Some of my most valuable parenting and leadership lessons were garnered in my 20’s as a Youth Pastor.  I know, the Youth Pastor is generally regarded as the “Student Teacher” of the staff at most churches, but hear me out.  Here’s two leadership lessons I learned during that time that can be applied to any leadership situation (including parenting):

People will generally rise to the level of your expectations.
If the people you lead trust you, they will generally do their best to meet your expectations.  As a Youth Pastor I would occasionally take large groups of students on road trips; camps, conferences, retreats, etc…  I had 2 stated expectations of their behavior:
    1. “I’m counting on you to be respectful of God, me and your fellow students.”
    2. “I’m counting on you to take responsibility for yourself and make wise decisions.”

In 8 years of youth ministry, I can’t recall a time when a student blew me off and did their own thing instead.  I appealed to our relationship by “counting on them,” but more importantly, every student felt the weight of having someone they respected relying on their discretion.  When given the chance to lead themselves, they inevitably wanted to do it well.

2.   People will become what their environment celebrates.
When problems arise, I’m looking to be on the solution side of the issue because dwelling on the mistake or assessing blame doesn’t lead us forward.  As a leader it’s not my primary job to call people out for their mistakes, but to call them upward toward something better.  I may have an obligation to correct certain behaviors or attitudes, but if the full extent of my leadership is pointing out what’s wrong and executing disciplinary action, then I haven’t offered a better alternative.

One of my favorite things to celebrate as a Youth Pastor was “Grit.”  Some students were achievers and we celebrated achievement; but I was always looking for the kid scratched and clawed for a B- in math, not just the kid who cruised their way to straight A’s.  One after another, students with low self-assuredness began to rise above their previously accepted norm.  We celebrated grit, because I knew that grit would serve them well for a lifetime and I wanted to cultivate more of it.

This is when I decided, I want to be known for what I’m for, not what I’m against.  Celebrate your desired behaviors and attitudes in the people you lead when you see them, and you’ll begin to see more of them.

"Plan A" For Discipling Children

God has a “Plan A” for discipling your children...

In all my years of pastoral ministry, I’ve never heard anyone begin telling their life’s story by recalling a youth retreat or a Sunday School class.  Invariably, it always begins with the type of home they grew up in; their parent(s), the defining moments in the history of their family, and the way their family made them feel about themselves.  For better or worse, our families are the most influential people in our lives.

As a Christian parent, I recognize that I am God’s “Plan A” for discipling my children; and if you're a parent, you're "Plan A" for yours.  There is no church program or ministry that will ever have the impact on my children that I am able and accountable to have.  I’m deeply grateful for the Kid’s Church leaders who plant seeds of God’s goodness in my kids, but I realize that teaching them to know and love Jesus is my responsibility.  There’s no better place for kids to be cared for, nurtured and developed then in their own home, under the guidance of their own parents.

God gives this instruction to parents, particularly fathers, in Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. NLT  It is a father’s responsibility, honor and joy to point his children toward the goodness, guidance and faithfulness of God through our words and deeds.

My hope is that no parent will send their kids off to Kid’s Church or Youth Group and assume that they are building a relationship with Jesus.  Young people will have some good experiences and gain some knowledge in these types of programs, but in the end our kids will likely make spiritual decisions based on the example of their parents. 

As a church leader my aim is to encourage and support parents in leading their kids toward spiritual wholeness and deep confidence in the faithfulness, goodness and grace of God.  I believe that by helping parents know Jesus intimately, the entire family can be strengthened for generations to come. 

Parents, now is the time to dig in.  Wherever your kids are, however old they may be; now is the time to pray like never before, to show them that God is an enduring rock of faithfulness, to teach them His promises through the Bible, to help them engage in Christian community through the church and to remind them that nothing on earth or beyond could ever separate them from the love of God which revealed in Christ.

Parent’s, you can do this.  Go fearlessly into the future because God is for you.