The 1st Day of School

Today was the 1st day of school in our house.  We have a 1st time high schooler, a middle schooler and an elementary student; just saying it is chaotic.  I took 2 hours out of my day doing drop-offs and pick-ups.  Not exactly something that a work-lover reflects on with satisfaction. 

At the end of the day, my high-schooler was a bit overwhelmed by the chaos of his first day in such a large school.  The middle child was elated beyond measure to be reunited with her friends and the youngest was exhausted because the day was “soooo long.”  All of those things; chaos, elation and exhaustion are magnified by the moment.  They’re a bigger deal than they should be, simply because it’s the 1st day.  All of them will be business as usual by next week.

In life, when we face a crisis, a disappointment, an opportunity, unfamiliar territory or some other significant moment, it’s important to recognize the context.  Sometimes, things seem overwhelming in the moment but if we give ourselves even a few hours of perspective, they return to their actual size.

Psalm 33:20 says We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.  Perhaps we were designed to be less anxious and more faith-full.  God’s track record is good so let the moment breathe a little.  It’s okay to let Him handle it; it’s not irresponsibility or naivety, it’s faith and good judgement.

The Year of Imperfection

Another year is about to begin and hope rises anew.  A new start is almost always a welcomed occasion for most of us.  Everyone’s chance to get it right; lose a few pounds, quit smoking, live by the budget, stop sounding like your mother…just to name a few.  All worthy goals and all achievable with the right set of circumstances, help and planning.

There’s one other thing you’ll need for a successful fresh-start: Grace.  Truth is, you actually need grace all the time, not just for a new year. 

Here’s my best prognostication for 2019:  You’ll have some wins and some loses, some success and some failure, some highs and some lows…me too.  I also predict that God will still be in control through all of them, His sovereignty will remain in tact, His mercy will still be yours for the receiving and He’ll graciously provide a way for you to get back on track when make a misstep.

This is life.  Imperfection is part of the gig.  We’re all flawed and hypocritical…isn’t is amazing that God loves us anyway?!  

• My observation is: I don’t deserve God’s favor on the basis of my actions.

• Reality is: I’m more loved than I ever thought possible; totally forgiven and blessed by God because of His amazing grace.

Our imperfections reveal God’s grace.  Our flaws demonstrate just how loving God is.  To think that He really knows you for who you truly are in the privacy of your own thoughts, and yet, He wants you anyway. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

If there's something better than being the object of God's grace, I can't imagine what that something would be.  It's going to be a good year.

Christmas Anticipation

It’s 6:07am, Christmas morning.  Last night we went to Christmas Eve service at church, then over to the grandparent’s house for a family gathering.  In the next hour the kids will be awake, presents will be opened and the post-holiday aftermath will begin; we call it the “Christmas hangover.”

I’ve come to realize that the best part of Christmas as a cultural holiday is the anticipation.  I look forward to signing along with the band on Christmas Eve and taking a few days out of our routine to spend with my wife and kids, among other things.  It’s the anticipation of this time that makes it truly meaningful and exciting to me.

As I anticipate Christmas each year, the thought has occurred to me that God’s people were anticipating the first Christmas for a much, much longer period of time; and with tremendous consequences hanging in the balance.  And yet when it came, very few people celebrated it. 

Today, and everyday I have the opportunity to be filled with anticipation.  Psalm 23:6 says Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.  How incredible is the opportunity to live this day and everyday under the covering of God’s goodness and mercy?!  When I look back I can see the amazing adventures God’s goodness has taken me on, and the many ways He has cared for me over a lifetime.  I marvel when I think that when that baby boy was born one anonymous night in Bethlehem, He came into the world with all the vulnerability of an infant.  He took His first breath of open air as a baby, and His purpose in life was to die for me; to be my Savior. 

The incredible nature of the Christmas story; the wonder the shepherds must have experienced, the beauty of two new parents experiencing the birth of a child, the simultaneous simplicity and complexity… it all fills my soul with anticipation for the days to come.  Where will God’s goodness and mercy take us this year?  What incredible things will He do?!

One thing I do know, is that when it’s all over, I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.  What a day that will be!  Speaking of anticipation…that'll be one breathtaking morning.

Drawing the Potential Out Of Those You Lead (Including Your Children)

Drawing the Potential Out Of Those You Lead (Including Your Children)

What do you celebrate?  What are the behaviors that make you tell your kids “good job”?  What are the qualities you admire in others?  If you’re leader, what attitudes to do you promote in your leadership?  More importantly, in your circle of influence, what are the behaviors and attitudes you’d like to see more of?

Some of my most valuable parenting and leadership lessons were garnered in my 20’s as a Youth Pastor.  I know, the Youth Pastor is generally regarded as the “Student Teacher” of the staff at most churches, but hear me out.  Here’s two leadership lessons I learned during that time that can be applied to any leadership situation (including parenting):

People will generally rise to the level of your expectations.
If the people you lead trust you, they will generally do their best to meet your expectations.  As a Youth Pastor I would occasionally take large groups of students on road trips; camps, conferences, retreats, etc…  I had 2 stated expectations of their behavior:
    1. “I’m counting on you to be respectful of God, me and your fellow students.”
    2. “I’m counting on you to take responsibility for yourself and make wise decisions.”

In 8 years of youth ministry, I can’t recall a time when a student blew me off and did their own thing instead.  I appealed to our relationship by “counting on them,” but more importantly, every student felt the weight of having someone they respected relying on their discretion.  When given the chance to lead themselves, they inevitably wanted to do it well.

2.   People will become what their environment celebrates.
When problems arise, I’m looking to be on the solution side of the issue because dwelling on the mistake or assessing blame doesn’t lead us forward.  As a leader it’s not my primary job to call people out for their mistakes, but to call them upward toward something better.  I may have an obligation to correct certain behaviors or attitudes, but if the full extent of my leadership is pointing out what’s wrong and executing disciplinary action, then I haven’t offered a better alternative.

One of my favorite things to celebrate as a Youth Pastor was “Grit.”  Some students were achievers and we celebrated achievement; but I was always looking for the kid scratched and clawed for a B- in math, not just the kid who cruised their way to straight A’s.  One after another, students with low self-assuredness began to rise above their previously accepted norm.  We celebrated grit, because I knew that grit would serve them well for a lifetime and I wanted to cultivate more of it.

This is when I decided, I want to be known for what I’m for, not what I’m against.  Celebrate your desired behaviors and attitudes in the people you lead when you see them, and you’ll begin to see more of them.

"Plan A" For Discipling Children

God has a “Plan A” for discipling your children...

In all my years of pastoral ministry, I’ve never heard anyone begin telling their life’s story by recalling a youth retreat or a Sunday School class.  Invariably, it always begins with the type of home they grew up in; their parent(s), the defining moments in the history of their family, and the way their family made them feel about themselves.  For better or worse, our families are the most influential people in our lives.

As a Christian parent, I recognize that I am God’s “Plan A” for discipling my children; and if you're a parent, you're "Plan A" for yours.  There is no church program or ministry that will ever have the impact on my children that I am able and accountable to have.  I’m deeply grateful for the Kid’s Church leaders who plant seeds of God’s goodness in my kids, but I realize that teaching them to know and love Jesus is my responsibility.  There’s no better place for kids to be cared for, nurtured and developed then in their own home, under the guidance of their own parents.

God gives this instruction to parents, particularly fathers, in Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. NLT  It is a father’s responsibility, honor and joy to point his children toward the goodness, guidance and faithfulness of God through our words and deeds.

My hope is that no parent will send their kids off to Kid’s Church or Youth Group and assume that they are building a relationship with Jesus.  Young people will have some good experiences and gain some knowledge in these types of programs, but in the end our kids will likely make spiritual decisions based on the example of their parents. 

As a church leader my aim is to encourage and support parents in leading their kids toward spiritual wholeness and deep confidence in the faithfulness, goodness and grace of God.  I believe that by helping parents know Jesus intimately, the entire family can be strengthened for generations to come. 

Parents, now is the time to dig in.  Wherever your kids are, however old they may be; now is the time to pray like never before, to show them that God is an enduring rock of faithfulness, to teach them His promises through the Bible, to help them engage in Christian community through the church and to remind them that nothing on earth or beyond could ever separate them from the love of God which revealed in Christ.

Parent’s, you can do this.  Go fearlessly into the future because God is for you.

What’s Around The Corner?

 

I admit it, I'm an early adopter...

Have you ever reached a place of uncertainty in your life?  A time when you just weren’t sure what the future would hold for you?  A season of life when you were unsettled because you weren’t sure what was around the corner?

I’ve had seasons of life like that…and I love it!  In 2008, like a lot of other Americans, I was laid off from my job.  Which is sort of weird to think about since I was a staff pastor.  Normally, I think of layoffs happening at tech firms and automobile manufacturers; but they happen in churches too.  Yes, I was concerned about what it would mean for me and the 4 other people who were depending on me for their livelihoods; but mostly, I was excited about “what’s next.”  Obviously a significant change was happening; that was unavoidable.  That’s when I recognized the “change-lover” inside myself.  I couldn’t stop the uncertainty from happening, but I found out that it’s possible to flourish in the middle of it. 

To some, that sounds crazy.  “Why would anyone be excited about not knowing what’s around the corner?” you might wonder.  Well, people like me think of it a different way.  People like me believe there’s one good way to find out what is around the corner…walk around and find out.  This is the natural position that many church-planters and entrepreneurs take. 

The excitement I get when venturing into the unknown is fueled by 2 things that I believe can help anyone tackle the uncertainty of life whether you like change or not. 

1. An assumption that the next season will be a good one.  Call it faith.  Call it optimism.  Call it crazy.  Doesn’t really matter to me.  What I know, is that in every season of uncertainty God has given me everything I’ve needed, when I needed it.  40 years have gone by and here I am, still standing.  Still excited about where I am and where He’ll take me in the future.  As of today, I’ve lived 14,732 days in my life; some better than others.  On every single one of those days, God provided what I needed.  That, my friends, is a reliable pattern.  I no longer have to wonder if God’s got me covered.

2. Confidence that when I run into challenges, God’s given me what I need to face them.  Okay so venturing into the unknown doesn’t always go smoothly.  But, if God is who He says He is, and I am who He says I am; what could I realistically be afraid of?  If I make a wrong move, God makes excellent course-corrections.  Some might ask, “What if it all goes horribly wrong?  What If your plans crash and burn, and you end up back at square one?”  A: I’ll start over under the assumption that the next season will be better than the last.  I’ve learned that in every difficulty, we proceed under the influence of “fear” OR, we proceed under influence of “faith.”  I choose faith.

Friends, the days ahead are going to be even better than the ones behind for us; and when we do run into challenges God will give us what we need to face them.

 “I have told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have troubles. But be brave! I have defeated the world!”  -Jesus, recorded in John 16:33 

Don't Exchange Friendship For A Hotdog And A Lawn Chair

I'm just so busy...

Maybe this line will sound familiar: "summertime's just so busy..."  Have you ever noticed that we have a tendency to regurgitate different versions of the same excuse?  Busy summer excuses turn into, "now that fall's here we're just busy trying to get back into a routine."  Or, "let's catch up after the holidays."

As reality would have it, we're all allotted approximately 24 hours in a day and those 24 hours are going to get filled up with something.  It's not that summer is busy, life is busy.  We are all  forced to choose some things and reject others.  When we say "yes" to one thing, we're saying "no" to something else.  The situation is neither good nor bad, it just is.

I'm a pastor and last Sunday I skipped church to run a marathon.  I'm a living example of the fact that we all make time for the things that are important to us.  I doesn't hurt my feelings in the slightest when people say "no" to being at church Sunday morning so they can say "yes" to something that's important to them.  What saddens me is when they choose trinkets, entertainment and even lethargy over Jesus and the family that He's established for them to enjoy.  One Sunday turns into 4 and before you know it, skipping out on time with our church family is the new norm.

My advice: Take the time to enjoy summer.  Be with people you love and do things that rejuvenate you.  In the middle of it, watch out for the pitfall of loosing your connection to your Christian community.  Don't exchange friendship for a hotdog and a lawn chair.  Biblically speaking, every good thing exists for one purpose; to bring glory to Christ.  Being engaged in His family (the church) does that very thing.

"living in community is hard on our schedules.  Living in isolation is hard on our souls."  -Brad House